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　　SCENE I. A churchyard.

　　Enter two Clowns, with spades, & c

　　First Clown

　　Is she to be buried in Christian burial that

　　wilfully seeks her own salvation?

　　Second Clown

　　I tell thee she is: and therefore make her grave

　　straight: the crowner hath sat on her, and finds it

　　Christian burial.

　　First Clown

　　How can that be, unless she drowned herself in her

　　own defence?

　　Second Clown

　　Why, 'tis found so.

　　First Clown

　　It must be 'se offendendo;' it cannot be else. For

　　here lies the point: if I drown myself wittingly,

　　it argues an act: and an act hath three branches: it

　　is, to act, to do, to perform: argal, she drowned

　　herself wittingly.

　　Second Clown

　　Nay, but hear you, goodman delver,--

　　First Clown

　　Give me leave. Here lies the water; good: here

　　stands the man; good; if the man go to this water,

　　and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he

　　goes,--mark you that; but if the water come to him

　　and drown him, he drowns not himself: argal, he

　　that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life.

　　Second Clown

　　But is this law?

　　First Clown

　　Ay, marry, is't; crowner's quest law.

　　Second Clown

　　Will you ha' the truth on't? If this had not been

　　a gentlewoman, she should have been buried out o'

　　Christian burial.

　　First Clown

　　Why, there thou say'st: and the more pity that

　　great folk should have countenance in this world to

　　drown or hang themselves, more than their even

　　Christian. Come, my spade. There is no ancient

　　gentleman but gardeners, ditchers, and grave-makers:

　　they hold up Adam's profession.

　　Second Clown

　　Was he a gentleman?

　　First Clown

　　He was the first that ever bore arms.

　　Second Clown

　　Why, he had none.

　　First Clown

　　What, art a heathen? How dost thou understand the

　　Scripture? The Scripture says 'Adam digged:'

　　could he dig without arms? I'll put another

　　question to thee: if thou answerest me not to the

　　purpose, confess thyself--

　　Second Clown

　　Go to.

　　First Clown

　　What is he that builds stronger than either the

　　mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?

　　Second Clown

　　The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a

　　thousand tenants.

　　First Clown

　　I like thy wit well, in good faith: the gallows

　　does well; but how does it well? it does well to

　　those that do in: now thou dost ill to say the

　　gallows is built stronger than the church: argal,

　　the gallows may do well to thee. To't again, come.

　　Second Clown

　　'Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or

　　a carpenter?'

　　First Clown

　　Ay, tell me that, and unyoke.

　　Second Clown

　　Marry, now I can tell.

　　First Clown

　　To't.

　　Second Clown

　　Mass, I cannot tell.

　　Enter HAMLET and HORATIO, at a distance

　　First Clown

　　Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull

　　ass will not mend his pace with beating; and, when

　　you are asked this question next, say 'a

　　grave-maker: 'the houses that he makes last till

　　doomsday. Go, get thee to Yaughan: fetch me a

　　stoup of liquor.

　　Exit Second Clown

　　He digs and sings

　　In youth, when I did love, did love,

　　Methought it was very sweet,

　　To contract, O, the time, for, ah, my behove,

　　O, methought, there was nothing meet.

　　HAMLET

　　Has this fellow no feeling of his business, that he

　　sings at grave-making?

　　HORATIO

　　Custom hath made it in him a property of easiness.

　　HAMLET

　　'Tis e'en so: the hand of little employment hath

　　the daintier sense.

　　First Clown

　　[Sings]

　　But age, with his stealing steps,

　　Hath claw'd me in his clutch,

　　And hath shipped me intil the land,

　　As if I had never been such.

　　Throws up a skull

　　HAMLET

　　That skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once:

　　how the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were

　　Cain's jaw-bone, that did the first murder! It

　　might be the pate of a politician, which this ass

　　now o'er-reaches; one that would circumvent God,

　　might it not?

　　HORATIO

　　It might, my lord.

　　HAMLET

　　Or of a courtier; which could say 'Good morrow,

　　sweet lord! How dost thou, good lord?' This might

　　be my lord such-a-one, that praised my lord

　　such-a-one's horse, when he meant to beg it; might it not?

　　HORATIO

　　Ay, my lord.

　　HAMLET

　　Why, e'en so: and now my Lady Worm's; chapless, and

　　knocked about the mazzard with a sexton's spade:

　　here's fine revolution, an we had the trick to

　　see't. Did these bones cost no more the breeding,

　　but to play at loggats with 'em? mine ache to think on't.

　　First Clown

　　[Sings]

　　A pick-axe, and a spade, a spade,

　　For and a shrouding sheet:

　　O, a pit of clay for to be made

　　For such a guest is meet.

　　Throws up another skull

　　HAMLET

　　There's another: why may not that be the skull of a

　　lawyer? Where be his quiddities now, his quillets,

　　his cases, his tenures, and his tricks? why does he

　　suffer this rude knave now to knock him about the

　　sconce with a dirty shovel, and will not tell him of

　　his action of battery? Hum! This fellow might be

　　in's time a great buyer of land, with his statutes,

　　his recognizances, his fines, his double vouchers,

　　his recoveries: is this the fine of his fines, and

　　the recovery of his recoveries, to have his fine

　　pate full of fine dirt? will his vouchers vouch him

　　no more of his purchases, and double ones too, than

　　the length and breadth of a pair of indentures? The

　　very conveyances of his lands will hardly lie in

　　this box; and must the inheritor himself have no more, ha?

　　HORATIO

　　Not a jot more, my lord.

　　HAMLET

　　Is not parchment made of sheepskins?

　　HORATIO

　　Ay, my lord, and of calf-skins too.

　　HAMLET

　　They are sheep and calves which seek out assurance

　　in that. I will speak to this fellow. Whose

　　grave's this, sirrah?

　　First Clown

　　Mine, sir.

　　Sings

　　O, a pit of clay for to be made

　　For such a guest is meet.

　　HAMLET

　　I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.

　　First Clown

　　You lie out on't, sir, and therefore it is not

　　yours: for my part, I do not lie in't, and yet it is mine.

　　HAMLET

　　'Thou dost lie in't, to be in't and say it is thine:

　　'tis for the dead, not for the quick; therefore thou liest.

　　First Clown

　　'Tis a quick lie, sir; 'twill away gain, from me to

　　you.

　　HAMLET

　　What man dost thou dig it for?

　　First Clown

　　For no man, sir.

　　HAMLET

　　What woman, then?

　　First Clown

　　For none, neither.

　　HAMLET

　　Who is to be buried in't?

　　First Clown

　　One that was a woman, sir; but, rest her soul, she's dead.

　　HAMLET

　　How absolute the knave is! we must speak by the

　　card, or equivocation will undo us. By the Lord,

　　Horatio, these three years I have taken a note of

　　it; the age is grown so picked that the toe of the

　　peasant comes so near the heel of the courtier, he

　　gaffs his kibe. How long hast thou been a

　　grave-maker?

　　First Clown

　　Of all the days i' the year, I came to't that day

　　that our last king Hamlet overcame Fortinbras.

　　HAMLET

　　How long is that since?

　　First Clown

　　Cannot you tell that? every fool can tell that: it

　　was the very day that young Hamlet was born; he that

　　is mad, and sent into England.

　　HAMLET

　　Ay, marry, why was he sent into England?

　　First Clown

　　Why, because he was mad: he shall recover his wits

　　there; or, if he do not, it's no great matter there.

　　HAMLET

　　Why?

　　First Clown

　　'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men

　　are as mad as he.

　　HAMLET

　　How came he mad?

　　First Clown

　　Very strangely, they say.

　　HAMLET

　　How strangely?

　　First Clown

　　Faith, e'en with losing his wits.

　　HAMLET

　　Upon what ground?

　　First Clown

　　Why, here in Denmark: I have been sexton here, man

　　and boy, thirty years.

　　HAMLET

　　How long will a man lie i' the earth ere he rot?

　　First Clown

　　I' faith, if he be not rotten before he die--as we

　　have many pocky corses now-a-days, that will scarce

　　hold the laying in--he will last you some eight year

　　or nine year: a tanner will last you nine year.

　　HAMLET

　　Why he more than another?

　　First Clown

　　Why, sir, his hide is so tanned with his trade, that

　　he will keep out water a great while; and your water

　　is a sore decayer of your whoreson dead body.

　　Here's a skull now; this skull has lain in the earth

　　three and twenty years.

　　HAMLET

　　Whose was it?

　　First Clown

　　A whoreson mad fellow's it was: whose do you think it was?

　　HAMLET

　　Nay, I know not.

　　First Clown

　　A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! a' poured a

　　flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same skull,

　　sir, was Yorick's skull, the king's jester.

　　HAMLET

　　This?

　　First Clown

　　E'en that.

　　HAMLET

　　Let me see.

　　Takes the skull

　　Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow

　　of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath

　　borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how

　　abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at

　　it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know

　　not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your

　　gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,

　　that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one

　　now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?

　　Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let

　　her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must

　　come; make her laugh at that. Prithee, Horatio, tell

　　me one thing.

　　HORATIO

　　What's that, my lord?

　　HAMLET

　　Dost thou think Alexander looked o' this fashion i'

　　the earth?

　　HORATIO

　　E'en so.

　　HAMLET

　　And smelt so? pah!

　　Puts down the skull

　　HORATIO

　　E'en so, my lord.

　　HAMLET

　　To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may

　　not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander,

　　till he find it stopping a bung-hole?

　　HORATIO

　　'Twere to consider too curiously, to consider so.

　　HAMLET

　　No, faith, not a jot; but to follow him thither with

　　modesty enough, and likelihood to lead it: as

　　thus: Alexander died, Alexander was buried,

　　Alexander returneth into dust; the dust is earth; of

　　earth we make loam; and why of that loam, whereto he

　　was converted, might they not stop a beer-barrel?

　　Imperious Caesar, dead and turn'd to clay,

　　Might stop a hole to keep the wind away:

　　O, that that earth, which kept the world in awe,

　　Should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw!

　　But soft! but soft! aside: here comes the king.

　　Enter Priest, & c. in procession; the Corpse of OPHELIA, LAERTES and Mourners following; KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, their trains, & c

　　The queen, the courtiers: who is this they follow?

　　And with such maimed rites? This doth betoken

　　The corse they follow did with desperate hand

　　Fordo its own life: 'twas of some estate.

　　Couch we awhile, and mark.

　　Retiring with HORATIO

　　LAERTES

　　What ceremony else?

　　HAMLET

　　That is Laertes,

　　A very noble youth: mark.

　　LAERTES

　　What ceremony else?

　　First Priest

　　Her obsequies have been as far enlarged

　　As we have warrantise: her death was doubtful;

　　And, but that great command o'ersways the order,

　　She should in ground unsanctified have lodged

　　Till the last trumpet: for charitable prayers,

　　Shards, flints and pebbles should be thrown on her;

　　Yet here she is allow'd her virgin crants,

　　Her maiden strewments and the bringing home

　　Of bell and burial.

　　LAERTES

　　Must there no more be done?

　　First Priest

　　No more be done:

　　We should profane the service of the dead

　　To sing a requiem and such rest to her

　　As to peace-parted souls.

　　LAERTES

　　Lay her i' the earth:

　　And from her fair and unpolluted flesh

　　May violets spring! I tell thee, churlish priest,

　　A ministering angel shall my sister be,

　　When thou liest howling.

　　HAMLET

　　What, the fair Ophelia!

　　QUEEN GERTRUDE

　　Sweets to the sweet: farewell!

　　Scattering flowers

　　I hoped thou shouldst have been my Hamlet's wife;

　　I thought thy bride-bed to have deck'd, sweet maid,

　　And not have strew'd thy grave.

　　LAERTES

　　O, treble woe

　　Fall ten times treble on that cursed head,

　　Whose wicked deed thy most ingenious sense

　　Deprived thee of! Hold off the earth awhile,

　　Till I have caught her once more in mine arms:

　　Leaps into the grave

　　Now pile your dust upon the quick and dead,

　　Till of this flat a mountain you have made,

　　To o'ertop old Pelion, or the skyish head

　　Of blue Olympus.

　　HAMLET

　　[Advancing] What is he whose grief

　　Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow

　　Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand

　　Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I,

　　Hamlet the Dane.

　　Leaps into the grave

　　LAERTES

　　The devil take thy soul!

　　Grappling with him

　　HAMLET

　　Thou pray'st not well.

　　I prithee, take thy fingers from my throat;

　　For, though I am not splenitive and rash,

　　Yet have I something in me dangerous,

　　Which let thy wiseness fear: hold off thy hand.

　　KING CLAUDIUS

　　Pluck them asunder.

　　QUEEN GERTRUDE

　　Hamlet, Hamlet!

　　All

　　Gentlemen,--

　　HORATIO

　　Good my lord, be quiet.

　　The Attendants part them, and they come out of the grave

　　HAMLET

　　Why I will fight with him upon this theme

　　Until my eyelids will no longer wag.

　　QUEEN GERTRUDE

　　O my son, what theme?

　　HAMLET

　　I loved Ophelia: forty thousand brothers

　　Could not, with all their quantity of love,

　　Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her?

　　KING CLAUDIUS

　　O, he is mad, Laertes.

　　QUEEN GERTRUDE

　　For love of God, forbear him.

　　HAMLET

　　'Swounds, show me what thou'lt do:

　　Woo't weep? woo't fight? woo't fast? woo't tear thyself?

　　Woo't drink up eisel? eat a crocodile?

　　I'll do't. Dost thou come here to whine?

　　To outface me with leaping in her grave?

　　Be buried quick with her, and so will I:

　　And, if thou prate of mountains, let them throw

　　Millions of acres on us, till our ground,

　　Singeing his pate against the burning zone,

　　Make Ossa like a wart! Nay, an thou'lt mouth,

　　I'll rant as well as thou.

　　QUEEN GERTRUDE

　　This is mere madness:

　　And thus awhile the fit will work on him;

　　Anon, as patient as the female dove,

　　When that her golden couplets are disclosed,

　　His silence will sit drooping.

　　HAMLET

　　Hear you, sir;

　　What is the reason that you use me thus?

　　I loved you ever: but it is no matter;

　　Let Hercules himself do what he may,

　　The cat will mew and dog will have his day.

　　Exit

　　KING CLAUDIUS

　　I pray you, good Horatio, wait upon him.

　　Exit HORATIO

　　To LAERTES

　　Strengthen your patience in our last night's speech;

　　We'll put the matter to the present push.

　　Good Gertrude, set some watch over your son.

　　This grave shall have a living monument:

　　An hour of quiet shortly shall we see;

　　Till then, in patience our proceeding be.

　　Exeunt

　　SCENE II. A hall in the castle.

　　Enter HAMLET and HORATIO

　　HAMLET

　　So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other;

　　You do remember all the circumstance?

　　HORATIO

　　Remember it, my lord?

　　HAMLET

　　Sir, in my heart there was a kind of fighting,

　　That would not let me sleep: methought I lay

　　Worse than the mutines in the bilboes. Rashly,

　　And praised be rashness for it, let us know,

　　Our indiscretion sometimes serves us well,

　　When our deep plots do pall: and that should teach us

　　There's a divinity that shapes our ends,

　　Rough-hew them how we will,--

　　HORATIO

　　That is most certain.

　　HAMLET

　　Up from my cabin,

　　My sea-gown scarf'd about me, in the dark

　　Groped I to find out them; had my desire.

　　Finger'd their packet, and in fine withdrew

　　To mine own room again; making so bold,

　　My fears forgetting manners, to unseal

　　Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,--

　　O royal knavery!--an exact command,

　　Larded with many several sorts of reasons

　　Importing Denmark's health and England's too,

　　With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life,

　　That, on the supervise, no leisure bated,

　　No, not to stay the grinding of the axe,

　　My head should be struck off.

　　HORATIO

　　Is't possible?

　　HAMLET

　　Here's the commission: read it at more leisure.

　　But wilt thou hear me how I did proceed?

　　HORATIO

　　I beseech you.

　　HAMLET

　　Being thus be-netted round with villanies,--

　　Ere I could make a prologue to my brains,

　　They had begun the play--I sat me down,

　　Devised a new commission, wrote it fair:

　　I once did hold it, as our statists do,

　　A baseness to write fair and labour'd much

　　How to forget that learning, but, sir, now

　　It did me yeoman's service: wilt thou know

　　The effect of what I wrote?

　　HORATIO

　　Ay, good my lord.

　　HAMLET

　　An earnest conjuration from the king,

　　As England was his faithful tributary,

　　As love between them like the palm might flourish,

　　As peace should stiff her wheaten garland wear

　　And stand a comma 'tween their amities,

　　And many such-like 'As'es of great charge,

　　That, on the view and knowing of these contents,

　　Without debatement further, more or less,

　　He should the bearers put to sudden death,

　　Not shriving-time allow'd.

　　HORATIO

　　How was this seal'd?

　　HAMLET

　　Why, even in that was heaven ordinant.

　　I had my father's signet in my purse,

　　Which was the model of that Danish seal;

　　Folded the writ up in form of the other,

　　Subscribed it, gave't the impression, placed it safely,

　　The changeling never known. Now, the next day

　　Was our sea-fight; and what to this was sequent

　　Thou know'st already.

　　HORATIO

　　So Guildenstern and Rosencrantz go to't.

　　HAMLET

　　Why, man, they did make love to this employment;

　　They are not near my conscience; their defeat

　　Does by their own insinuation grow:

　　'Tis dangerous when the baser nature comes

　　Between the pass and fell incensed points

　　Of mighty opposites.

　　HORATIO

　　Why, what a king is this!

　　HAMLET